A Father Sets Watch

My heart was heavy.  Fear that I was being rejected began poking into my thoughts. Vain imagings closely followed as I worried that my son might be in trouble; maybe lost his cell phone or wasn't wanting to connect because he was trying to hide something from me. I was determined to get some explanation for my unanswered texts and phone messages! Maybe the time of day wasn't right.  I'll call earlier. No response. My emotions were bundling into a triple play of worry, anger and rejection.

He responded,  finally.  Nothing was wrong.  "Why are you so upset, Mom?" My satisfaction of hearing from him was overshadowed quickly by pangs of regret. Why had I demanded his response and why the hissy fit?  I knew better.  I have been through peacemaker training.  The teaching on the slippery slope of idolatry was the path I had just slid down. The progression from the top down goes like this:
--good desire frustrated, --turns into disappointment, --slips into demand, --whooshes into judgement where --daggars of punishment are unsheathed towards the disapointer
Oh, Lord, help me. Rid my heart of the idol of looking to relationships for satisfaction when you are the only One who satisfies.

During replays of my slippery slide, the Lord brought the Prodigal Son story to mind. Hey, I can identify with the Father's heart on this one, Lord.

Pain of being alienated from someone you love
Intense longing for reconnection
Worry from not being able to see what is really happening...

Go on, Lord.  What else? 
I realized the Father is constantly watching for the son's return, but there is no frantic hot pursuit to bring him back. Neither is he sending pleading messages with passerbys who might be heading his son's direction.  He waits, patiently, prayfully.  When he returns the welcome is warm, not accusatory.  The Father is full of joy, not having to apologize for his groveling behavior.

I get it, Lord.  Will you teach me how a parent graciously poises the heart towards adult children?  Letting them go with absolute trust and no strings attached, yet keeping watch in pray and faith. Make me a cheerleader, supporter, helper and friend, knowing when to take initiative and when to wait,  but always resting in your perfect love for me and them.

The Father's heart is our example and comfort. May you know His love and acceptance, no matter what earthly parents you've known or have been. He will always be there, with all you need.

Thank you, Father God for loving me like that.

Devoted to Being Close

"...for who is he who will devote himself to be close to me?" declares the Lord.  Jer. 30:21

Previous to this verse, Jeremiah has been sharing about the future restoration of Israel.  The Lord had pleaded with his people to turn from their wickedness.  They refused to listen and and were taken into captivity by foreign governments.  Yet God's mercy is extended and the beginning of this passage predicts the days to come when Jerusalem will be rebuilt, and the captives will come home with great rejoicing and honor. A leader will emerge from them who the Lord will bring near and close to himself.  Then he asks the question, "Who will devote himself to be close to me?"

God is asking for relationship and intimacy. Amazing, isn't it, that our great big God seeks people like us to be close to him?  How cozy does that sound?  Who wouldn't want to say yes to an invitation to be tight with the God of the universe?

But notice that hefty word 'devote' in the invitation.  Responding to the call may require more than a glib yes.
I haven't found devotion to be my forte.  My heart has said, "yes,Lord" to many things, but how many of them have I stuck with?  What would it look like to devote myself to being close to God?

James 4:8 says, "Come close to God and he will come close to you".  (Amp Bible)  The rest of the verse challenges us to purify ourselves of wavering, divided interests, disloyalty and spiritual adultery.  I know he will never leave me or forsake me, or withold his presence and love from me even while I'm multitasking all those divided interests.  But I think I'm seeing just a bit more clearly how the intimacy with God that I desire doesn't come automatically or easily.

Lord, I want to be close to you.  Yet, inside I feel the struggle.  How badly do I want that?  Am I devoting myself to being close to you or am I just hoping it happens as I go about doing life and being satisfied that you are with me.  Please continue to call and draw me.  Forgive me for resting too long on the plateau of comfort.  Stir  my heart to true, passionate devotion to being close to you.  Forgive my involvement in divided interests.  As much as I know how right now, I purify my heart, and I'm coming closer, Lord. How I need you!  How I need your help to keep me drawing near to you!  Show me and teach me how to lay aside the things that compete for my devotion to you.

As a deer pants for water-that devoted!
As not living by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of God-that devoted!
As loving you more than father, mother, son, daugher-that devoted!
As laying down my life for my brother-that devoted!
As forgiving as I've been forgiven-that devoted!
As loving you with all my soul, heart, mind and strength-That Devoted!

What Does Your Sign Say, Part II

Last week I shared on my need to erect signposts along my journey to block the detours that take me off course.  One morning this week I was reading in Jeremiah.  How encouraging to read verse 21 in chapter 31. 
"Set up road signs;
Put up guideposts;
Take note of the highway , the road that you take."

Jeremiah is sharing how the Lord will bring his people back to their land after captivity.  As he shares this verse, he asks Israel to return to their towns.  We do need to pay attention to the road we are taking.  I don't want to wander down paths that lead to pity parties, waste of time, and self absorption.

Lead me Lord and guide my steps. Show me what signs to place where.  Thank you for calling me with you on the journey.

What Does Your Sign Say?

I was at Rejects Bar in the The Dumps the other day.  Actually, I visited the landmark place a few times that week.  No one bothers me there and the drinks are free.  That day I had a shot of Noone Likes Me But My Husband, followed by Friends Who I Always Have to Make the Initiative With, and then a tall draft of Why Does My Son Ignore My Phone Calls.  I leave dejected and convinced I'm unwanted.

I know better than to go there and on the way home no matter what impaired state I'm in, God's Spirit coaxes me into his thoughts. "Let me tell you all the ways I love you", he says. "My love is closer than a brother's.  I gave my life for you. You didn't choose me, I chose you.  And you're forgetting about the thank- you card you got in the mail this week from your mother-in-law.  She enjoyed having lunch with you.  How about the impromptu text from your daughter who was just checking in?  Weren't you at breakfast last week with some friends who enjoy your company?"

   "Yes, Lord", I whisper. "Will you help me stay the course and avoid the detours to my old haunts"?

These days I'm into building roadblocks in front of those often traveled highways that lead me to trouble.  You should see the signs I'm designing and erecting!

Stop! Killer of Joy just ahead!
No Outlet! Keep Out!
Toxice to Your Mental Health! U-Turn Now!

Will the strategy work? 

Recently, I was on the way to spend time with a friend.  I began dreaming of a tall chilled bottle of You're Going to Say Something to Turn Her Off.  I headed towards Rejects, my heart beat excelerating with anticipation.  Barely had I veered that direction when I saw the sign.  Yield to the Right! 

   "Ok, Lord", I wailed, as I braked and turned. "I want to go that way, but I don't want to go that way.  I feel so weak.  I want to yield this whole propensity-to-rejection-mess to you.  Will you make your strength perfect in this vulnerable place inside of me?"  As I headed back towards meeting my friend, I was counting heavily on his help to keep my heart at ease.

What places do you need to set a roadblock?  What will your signs say?  Sometimes Lord Jesus asks us to arm ourselves and carry out the strategies he gives us to fight the giants in our lives- like disciplining our minds with roadblocks.  Other times he asks us to be still and know that he is God and will fight the battle for us as we yield our weaknesses to him.

IIChronicles 20 tells the story of a vast army approaching Israel for war.  King Jehoshaphat cries out to the Lord and admits they have no power to fight.
   "We do not know what to do but our eyes are on you."  (Verse 12)

The Lord answers through a prophet.
   "Do not be afraid or discouraged...the battle is not yours, but God's...You will not have to fight this battle. Take up your positions stand firm and see the deliverance the Lord will give you." 

The enemies end up slaughtering each other, and all the Israelites had left to do was to go in and pick up the plunder.

If you're trapped in a bad habit, but have excused or ignored it's bad influence over you, God has plans for you to be free; to overcome.  Ask him to lead you to his Word, people, or resources that will move you into the battle.  If you've fought some enemy in your life and are panting from exhaustion and see little progress, he may be saying to just let go of the fight, hide in his love and be refreshed.  He will fight for you.

He loves you dearly, friend.  What he wants most is your heart tuned to his, and for you to trust in his strength and power. His signs will tell you the way.  His billboards advertise his love, his provision and his places to dwell.  May all your roads be well-marked as you travel onward!

Have You Been Dandled Lately?

Is. 66:12  For this is what the Lord says: "I will extend peace to her like a river, and the wealth of nations like a flooding stream; you will nurse and be carried on her arm and dandled on her knees".

My daughter and her family from FL recently visited us.  Baby Dominic captured my nana heart with his 5 month old sweetness.  I cuddled him close and bounced him softly in my arms or on my knee.  I could relate afresh to this Isaiah word picture.   I'm a word lover so I had to look up dandle in my Webster.  Dandle-"to move an infant up and down in the arms or on the knee; fondle".  The Isaiah phrase in the Amplified Bible reads, "carried on her hips or trotted on her knees".

Strong's Concordance associated the word dandle with taking joy and delight in something.  My daughter expressed such joy when she described the incomparable feeling she had seeing Dominic's countenance ooze delight when he saw her face, and the tenderness when he momentarily stopped nursing to just gaze at his mother and smile.

That whole magnificent exchange is captured beautifully in Isaiah's depiction of Jerusalem like a mother who nurtures and coddles; like our God's motherly comfort to his people.  May you feel the love today.  Drink deeply and snuggle close.  Linger, loiter and enjoy His delight in you today.

His Indwelling Presence!

Romans 8:6-11 (NRSV)

⁶ To set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace. ⁷ For this reason the mind that is set on the flesh is hostile to God; it does not submit to God’s law—indeed it cannot, ⁸ and those who are in the flesh cannot please God. ⁹ But you are not in the flesh; you are in the Spirit, since the Spirit of God dwells in you. Anyone who does not have the Spirit of Christ does not belong to him. ¹⁰ But if Christ is in you, though the body is dead because of sin, the Spirit is life because of righteousness. ¹¹ If the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, he who raised Christ from the dead will give life to your mortal bodies also through his Spirit that dwells in you.

Recently, my local community was shocked by the tragic death of Karlee, a 7-year-old girl who was killed when her father’s gun accidentally fell and fired. Karlee was a member of the church I attend and her death deeply affected our congregation. We grieved with her family and grasped for answers to the unsettling questions.

We also celebrated Karlee’s life through stories that made us laugh and cry. A friend of Karlee’s dad, Jay, wanted to bring just the right gift to the funeral. Beef jerky came to mind, but the thought seemed absurd and out of place. The thought lingered, so he brought a bag of jerky. During the service, he learned about Karlee’s unusual food tastes of raw mushrooms and beef jerky. Beef jerky even replaced candles one year on her birthday cake. How encouraging it was for both he and Jay when his gift was lovingly laid to rest with Karlee’s body at the grave site!

In times like these, we whose minds are controlled by the Spirit of God lean heavily on the promise that, in Christ, there is life and peace. 

In the midst of pain, this reality almost surprises us with its tender, but powerful presence.

The God of peace is with us breathing life into our shaken faith.

We, who have the Spirit of Christ living inside wait with hope and great assurance for the day we will see Karlee again. Because we live now in that hope, we surround Karlee’s family and others who grieve, sharing comfort and continuing in prayer for them.

Teach us to trust you, Lord, in the difficult times of death. Give us patience with ourselves and others as we navigate through the grief. Bring us the peace you promised. Thank you for your amazing gift of eternal life.

Boxed In and Content

Ps. 16:6.  The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance.

Have you ever played the comparison game?

I wonder what it would be like to have so much money that I wouldn’t have to worry about how much I spend.

If only I had a supportive, more Godly husband, then I could be successful in ministry.

Wish I wasn’t caught in the middle of making too much money to qualify for government college grants, yet not enough to keep my child from accruing horrendous debt.  It’s not fair!

If only my boss would appreciate his employees and give raises when they are due!

Maybe it’s health issues or physical features.  Or choices others have made for us that we didn’t have a voice in; we feel limited and helpless.

Whatever it is that tend to suck you into discontentment, remember, God knows your name and your needs.  Those circumstances just might be a set up to lead you to his greatest delight—an intimate relationship with you that is out of the realm of this world.

As I realize the inheritance I have in Him, I can pray,

“Lord, thank you for the boundary lines that have fallen for me in pleasant places.”

If only my husband bought me spontaneous and outrageous gifts….

“Thank you for my steady-Eddy.”

If only I had money to get a manicure every week…

“Thank you for food and housing and my nail file.”

It’s really about learning to be content in a Father who loves us and has promised to meet all our needs.  It’s when his timing and methods don’t make sense, that I need to press in closer to listen to his heart of love and step up my responses to his initiatives of friendship.

The time may come when he moves a boundary line for me. Will I make the adjustment gracefully?   Or he  asks me to push back against an enemy’s encroachment into my territory.  Will I rise and fight?

In those places where I can’t change my lot, Lord,  help me to declare your goodness and embrace the present.  You dwell with me on this acre, and your love never fails.