I have had the privilege of reading the letters my parent's in law wrote to each other from June 1949-May 1950. The letters contain a story of their courtship. I didn't read every letter word for word, but I did open each one and read the highlights. They both wrote almost every day to one another. The letters are sweet and filled with Godly thoughts from two hearts that wanted to do God's will. They were certain of their feelings for one another from the first time they met. It was a pleasure to observe how their love progressed and to get a glimpse of how they lived their lives from day to day.
My mother-in-law was a young traveling evangelist in Illinois. Their story began when Dad went to one of the revival meetings she was preaching at and offered to take her home after the meeting. I am increasingly thankful for the legacy they left the next generations. To have this record of the beginning of their relationship is a treasure indeed.
The following is a summary of what I read in the letters and an imperfect attempt to portray the love they had for God and for one another. Enjoy this time travel into 1949 and how two lives came together for a lifetime marriage. They have both gone on to their eternal home and the God they served and worshiped.
The Courtship of Allen and Doris
It began that Tuesday night on June 14, 1949. She was a
traveling evangelist speaking two and a half hours from where he lived. Why he decided to go to the meeting is
unknown, but after the meeting he asked to take her home. He sent his first
letter the following day.
I didn’t find a letter from her in response to that first
letter, but apparently he went back to the meetings the next two nights and traveled
back to Tiskilwa, IL Friday afternoon. He wrote to her before he left town. “What a wonderful day this has been for me.”…All
day long there has been a song in my heart and the song, ‘I’d rather have
Jesus’ has just kept bursting out…Doris, I
just can’t write what is in my heart now…”
He signed it “Yours in Him, Allen”.
Her first letter was written that Friday evening after the meeting.
“Dear Allen,
I’m thinking of you-maybe I shouldn’t but I’ve thought of you off and on all day. I have been true to my duties…but memories have never been far from me. My prayers have been punctuated with –‘Father, keep Allen safe and true to thyself and thy will be done.’”
The next two letters were written Saturday and Sunday, and the three were mailed together in one envelope. She also let him know she had been hoping to hear from him and then expressed this: “My heart is full Allen with things ‘unlawful for me to utter’ so God keep you Allen. God keep you.” The letters were all signed with “God bless you, Doris.”
From there began an almost daily correspondence from each of them to the other. There were gaps when they actually got to spend a weekend together. The letters after the visits expressed their feelings of loneliness and sadness of being apart with little about the activities they did during the time together. Before they were to get together on August 20, she revealed that she was eager to see him. “I’m afraid I’ve said it in so many different ways that I’ve lost all semblance of ‘maidenly modesty”.
By the end of August they were engaged, although only the family knew until they announced it around Christmas. There are no details written about a proposal, but in 1949 a simple question with a simple answer would have sufficed and a ring was not expected, and to them would have been a worldly symbol.
She was first to change salutations from Dear to Dearest and the closing of "Yours in Christ" became 'With love, Doris." It didn’t take long until he followed suit. The letters became sweeter and more expressive of their love for one another.
They talked of chores they did during the day, visiting family, services they attended and the topics of the sermons. They shared Bible verses and how much they wanted to stay in God’s will. There were enclosures in the letters- cartoon clippings, bulletins of services they attended and occasional photos-black and white of course and surprisingly, still in the envelopes. An early letter of his contained a photo of him at a beach wearing only a pair of white shorts. She didn’t seem to think it too risqué.
Both of them shared poetry they copied from books; she wrote her own poem to him at least once. They recommended books to each other or enclosed a magazine article for the other to read. Once he sent her an article that included a checklist of how a woman could know if she was ready for marriage. He assured her she had accomplished all of them. Early on in the relationship, he changed membership from his Mennonite church to her Free Methodist denomination. (She later changed to Mennonite and they attended the Mennonite church sometime after they were married.)
Once she enclosed a flower that the child of the family she stayed with during one of the revivals gave to her and made her promise to send to Allen. It was very pressed and faded and the stem became detached as it fell out of the envelope. As they got closer to marriage they sent a few pictures of furniture, and they were pleased to learn they both had similar tastes.
She had read a biography of a minister of God that she admired and decided to practice something that this man and his wife had written to each other while courting. They were messages in capital letters. Each letter stood for a word. From reading their endearing names for each other and letter closings, I was able to decipher most of them. Here’s an example: ILYHWAMH. (I love you, honey with all my heart). They coded some Bible verses this way for the other to solve.
She often spoke of the revival meetings and how God gave her special grace to share the message. Before the meetings she dealt with nervousness, but God always came through for her. There was always a report of how many came forward to either get saved or sanctified. It was never large numbers, but each one was a victory for the cause. And if no one responded, there was still a sense that God was moving and the meeting had not been in vain. She would be on assignment for a couple of weeks and then have a short break before she was asked to go somewhere else, traveling by bus to get there.
He was attending college and talked about his studies and preparing for tests and what grades he was getting. He would go home some weekends to be with his mother, who was alone, as his father had died earlier. His sisters were both married. He’d often give a ride to other students. He had his own victories to share about prayer meetings and how God had moved in their gatherings. Many times he mentioned passages of scripture he was reading. He received monthly GI checks around $240.
She was weight conscious and sometimes shared how little she ate. He chided her to take care of herself. Once he corrected her spelling in a letter. She very humbly accepted his remarks and praised his excellence in an area she felt weak in. A few times they were annoyed and amused at the gossip that they heard about themselves. One time some woman wanted to correspond with Doris. It became obvious she only wanted to argue her point about why her denomination was the right way. Doris tried to be gracious, but didn’t engage in the argument, which Allen advised her not to do. The young, pretty evangelist, also, had some occasional admirers that she had to ignore and avoid.
The letters mentioned an epidemic once, chicken pox and close family and acquaintances getting the mumps. The couple carefully tried not to get exposed.
Although they were very proper in expressing their love, they talk about the sweetness of their kisses. In February, he began signing his letters with a symbol after his name. It was a circle with an X inside of it. How thrilling for her as she recognized it as a kiss and she began sending the symbol back to him. Eventually, the circle changed from the 4 arms of an X to looking like a wheel with many spokes. (Maybe the wagon wheel they kept in the living room of the house on CR 38 had a hidden meaning that we’re just now discovering!)
She was more flowery in speech in her letters. His were shorter but filled with love and desire for her. One letter acknowledged this. She wrote, “I love to hear from you even it it is only a short one. Your short notes are “sorta” like an old fashioned kiss snatched until we can get something better. They are very sweet though so send them along whenever it is necessary. I know my darling that you are very busy and I’ll never complain that you are neglecting me as long as I know you love me deep down in your heart, and I am thoroughly convinced that you do dear…”
Here are a few more excerpts from her letters as they got closer to marriage:
“I love you more and more. My heart is full of love tonight. I am sure the future generation will smile at the evolution of our little symbol from the (she drew an circle with an X) to ( she drew the wheel), but no one will know like we do how very very much it means. I sometimes feel like writing it like this. (she draws a spoke with multiple rays surrounding it-sunlike). But even then it is after all just ink and paper-a feeble expression of something else that is flesh and blood and fire-naughty me- Maybe I shouldn’t have written that. But I love you so-Your Doris”
“Both your letters warmed my heart so this morning that I just felt like I was bathed in sunshine. I love to have you write that you miss me and that you are hungry for (the spoke symbol), because I feel the same way and I like to have company in my misery…”
“Someday we’ll have a little handsome AJS, diluted with some DER.”
“Honey, I love you and I’m so hungry for ( a two inch line with a spoke in the middle of the line), maybe I shouldn’t say it. I wish you were close enough and words wouldn’t be necessary. I had better continue to write for I am just sitting here, imagining and sighing great big sighs. Ha!”
They were married on a Thursday afternoon, June 22, 1950 and the letters stop a couple days before the wedding.
What a legacy they have left us! And what a great picture into the past and how they navigated a Godly courtship. I didn’t read every letter word for word, but they all held my interest, and I did open each one. Their love for God and the Bible and their commitment to doing His will is very evident. They honored their parents and family members. There is no mention of what was popular in fashion or music at the time, or about politics. She knew about fashion when it came to wedding dress styles and what to give her attendants for gifts. They were interested in buying new furniture for their first home. But beyond that they didn’t write about the culture outside of their communities.
I found it interesting that she didn’t seem to struggle with leaving her calling as an evangelist to getting married. She just knew it was the next step for her and she expressed no regrets, even when others questioned her decision.
I learned that the postal service has definitely digressed since then, as they were receiving their letters one or two days after they had been mailed. At least it was that fast between the 200 or so miles that separated them.
I didn’t realize Dad was such a romantic or that he could express himself like he did in his letters. They were certain of their love and never wavered in their desire for each other.
I hope I have represented them fairly, as I’ve been privy to their intimacy in courtship expressed through their letters, and I only want to honor and preserve their memories by sharing this snapshot story of their romance.
