As I watch my adult kids make parenting choices in the midst
of technology mine fields and as I realize what the current culture would like
to feed to my grand kids, this book was a very timely and relevant read.
Entitlement: the feeling or belief that you deserve to be given
something.(Meriam-Webster online).
Author Kristen Welch, shares her family’s journey away from
entitlement to new perspectives of serving others, working hard and making
gratitude the goal. It’s a counter-cultural journey against a society that
pursues happiness at all costs and allows child-centered homes in the
process. For Kristen, the biggest goal
in life is to love God and love others more than ourselves. She warns us that pursuing this goal isn’t
“normal” and opposition is certain.
It starts with parents dealing with their own entitlement,
and modeling gratitude. Absolute truth based on the Bible’s principles and
making good personal choices are essential ingredients in growing this kind of
family. Kristen discovered that training
up a child in “the way he should go” (Prov. 3:6
)could mean that it's not how righteously a parent sows good into their
children, but how a parent neglects training them in godliness and lets the
child go his OWN way. In that case, a child may never turn from his own human
natural sinfulness.
Because many parents are in the position of being able to
give their kids more than they need, it’s hard not to pamper children. When a parent feels guilt because of busyness
or divorce, or doesn’t want their kids to feel left out or unhappy, they may
overindulge. Parents long for their kids to be their friends. Kristen says, "Kid's aren't meant to be our friends until they are independent of us." p. 53.
The section on making smart choices about technology devices
and usage is very helpful. Parents need
to stay current on what is trending and set not only usage boundaries but teach
kids what is good and what is bad about social media and internet access.
Technology access has to involve active parenting so the parent can lead with
purpose rather than letting the culture lead with what is popular.
The last two sections of the book lay out a plan for
establishing a God-centered home that is other-focused, balanced in grace and
discipline, and filled with gratitude. Kristen has started a non-profit called,
Mercy House, which ministers to women around the globe. Her emphasis on service
as a means to bring perspective to children and a larger worldview is a
reoccurring theme in the book.
In the last chapter, Kristen, warns parents that
intentionally training children to be grateful in our self-centered culture
will be difficult and kids will feel different than many of their peers. A
discussion guide and several appendices are found at the back of the book,
including a cell phone contract between parent and child. For any parent who
wants to take on the challenge of overcoming entitlement attitudes, let this
excellent, current resource start you on your journey!
This book was given from the publisher in exchange for my honest review.
This book was given from the publisher in exchange for my honest review.
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